Friday, September 7, 2007

Pierce rolls no-kicker as Panthers earn finals berth

Pitcher Eric Pierce rolled the first no-kicker in WAKA Massachusetts Commonwealth Division history, leading the Middlesex Panthers to a 2-0 victory over Animal Is My Homeboy in last night's semifinals.

The win vaulted the Panthers into next week's championship game, where they will play their archrivals, the Red Balls, who defeated the Root Down in a darkness-shortened rock-paper-scissors tiebreaker.

"So, Red Balls, we meet again," said Panthers co-captain Colin Steele, who had been trying in vain to include a "Spaceballs" quote in this blog all season up to this point.

Pierce scored the Panthers' first run in the first inning and Blake "Slam" Dunkel added another run in the third inning. The Panthers, who smell like a turd covered in burnt hair, threatened to score more in the fourth inning, but Brian Kraemer ran -- er, more like steamrolled -- past teammate Amanda Hines on the base paths when he mistakenly thought she was called out at third. Hines then stepped off the base and was tagged out.

"I think we're going to have to equip our base coaches with tasers or something to keep B.K. under control on the base paths next game," Steele said. "It was like the Running of the Bulls Fan out there. Get it, 'cause he's from Chicago?"

The Panthers have a long history with the Red Balls, splitting two controversial games with them this year. On Aug. 9, the Panthers won 9-5 -- a score disputed by the Red Balls, who said the Panthers only scored eight runs, even though nobody on the Red Balls was keeping official score. The Red Balls then won the Aug. 30 rematch after they asked to end the game, leading 6-4 in the fourth inning, because of darkness.

3 comments:

Big said...

It's gonna be a rumble in the jungles of Waltham. Everybody bring flashlights or headlamps!

Casey said...

I was going to bring glow sticks, a beat-box, and pacifiers.

YS said...

Let's blueball those red balls. Or kick them in the nuts enough that they actually will have red balls. Kick 'em with cleats.

I won't be able to make the aftah-pahty or Friday's bash. Darn! But I'll be there at the game. You'll be able to call me George Washington from all the singles I'll be droppin'.