Panthers move into first place with 9-0 win

The Middlesex Panthers avenged their only two losses of the season last night, defeating Root Down 9-0 in WAKA Massachusetts Commonwealth Division action.

The win put the 5-2 Panthers alone in first place for the first time this season and netted them at least a share of the regular-season championship. They can win it outright with a victory over the Red Balls next week.

"By looking at the score, you'd think our offense won the game for us," Panthers co-captain Colin Steele said. "But we made some great, smart plays in the field, too. So it was really all on our defense. ... Well, not all on our defense, 'cause even though we shut them out, we did have to score in order to win. ... And come to think of it, we did score a lot of runs. So I guess I'd say it was about 50-50 offense and defense."

The Panthers started the game off strong with four consecutive hits from Eric Pierce, Amanda "Porn Star" Wong, Nick Toth and David Bergeron. They took a 3-0 lead into the second inning, where they staged their patented two-out rally en route to five more runs -- four of which came on a grand slam by Pierce, the first in team history.

"If I were playing us, I'd be afraid to get two outs on us," Steele said. "That's when we inflict all our damage. I know you have to get two outs before you can get three and end the inning, but maybe you can just get one and wait for a double play opportunity. I really think that's the only way you can stop us."

The game, however, was far from flawless for the Panthers -- who, I'm gonna be honest with you, smell like pure gasoline. Only one kicker reached base in the final two innings, and Steele is planning to consult the team's equipment manager to get some new footwear for infielder Yuval "Take This Job And" Shavit.

"Every time he tried to stop short, he just slid and fell over," Steele said. "Maybe he'd be better on ice skates. Stupid hockey player."

The Panthers' game next week against Red Balls is a make-up date for the July 19 game that was canceled because of rain. A win would clinch the top seed in the playoffs and a date with 1-6 Animal Is My Homeboy, who upset Red Balls last night in their first victory of the year.

At league bar Joe Sent Me after the game, female players from the Panthers and Animal Is My Homeboy were spotted celebrating their victories in their own unique way. When Panthers player Matt Gervais, who left the bar before said celebrations occurred, was informed of what he missed, he replied, "Oh boy." But, upon further reflection, he added, "It's passe at this point."